So much of these are things I wish I could say to my dad. I wish I could tell him what he'll miss out on. I wish I could tell him I know that none of the shit he put me through is my fault. I wish I could tell him that I'll be 100x better at being a parent than he was.

And that sounds as if he's dead, he's not. He's just out of my life because I got tired of the drama and the bullshit, and the way he treated me like I was never good enough. And I feel guilty every single day that I don't speak to him, because I grew up thinking that I had to allow the emotional and mental abuse, because he was my dad and he loved me.

It took me 18 and a half years to finally get rid of that relationship for good, not that it was ever healthy to begin with. We were two mentally ill people who clashed in every way, and it got to a point where he was doing more harm to my depression than anything else in my life. No matter how hard I tried and how much I was praised by my mum and my sister and my teachers and my friends, all that I could hear was him telling me I was fat and useless and stupid and that I should've done better. All I saw when I closed my eyes was him ripping my teddy bear from my arms before tearing it to shreds because I was too old for it I was 10.

He was toxic, and I had to remove him from my life.

It's time to put that behind me and be okay.

Thanks for watching.

******

Fandoms: Shameless; One Tree Hill; One Day at a Time; Riverdale; Valor; Girl Meets World; Arrow; The Vampire Diaries.
Characters: Fiona Gallagher; Brooke Davis; Elena Alvarez; Veronica Lodge; Nora Madani; Maya Hart; Felicity Smoak; Caroline Forbes.
Song: For the Love of a Daughter
By: Demi Lovato

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