We humans are extraordinarily and painfully vulnerable creatures. Especially in our early years, we are at huge danger of being psychologically damaged by those around us. Damage is in one way or another always caused by a shortfall of tenderness and care. As we might put it, it’s caused by a shortfall of love. Examples of shortfalls of love are very varied: perhaps at an early point someone went missing or someone died, someone was cruel or someone misunderstood. And as a result of this deficit, universally, some kind of wound was sustained…


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“1. We humans are extraordinarily and painfully vulnerable creatures. Especially in our early years, we are at huge danger of being psychologically damaged by those around us. Damage is in one way or another always caused by a shortfall of tenderness and care. As we might put it, it’s caused by a shortfall of love.
Examples of shortfalls of love are very varied: perhaps at an early point someone went missing or someone died, someone was cruel or someone misunderstood.
And as a result of this deficit, universally, some kind of wound was sustained.

2. We are psychologically very ingenious creatures. In the face of any wound, we develop an array of very clever defence mechanisms. The purpose of defence mechanisms is to protect us against further damage, to help us to get through to the next stage of existence; to keep us going; in extremes, to save our lives…”


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