Today would have been Billi’s 16th birthday.

Grief is a weird rollercoaster. When the 5 Stages of Grief are described, it sounds like a linear process. First this stage, then the next, then finally you reach the end. The reality is… not that. It’s a jumbled mess where you can experience all stages at once, skip stages, circle back around, and start all over again. Sometimes all in one day! Some days my grief lives in an easier to manage layer, where I can focus on the amazing life Billi and I shared. Other days I’m not sure how I’ll ever navigate my world without her. The smallest things trigger memories and you can get caught in a wave of despair.

I was surprised how much going back through photos and videos helped me. I assumed it would be too painful, but it’s been the opposite. Putting this tribute together was quite cathartic, and remembering everything we’ve done together has helped me process.

So in honor of Her Madjesty, Queen Billi, Squish, a celebration of a life lived to the fullest. Gone, but never forgotten. I love you